Sometimes life can be like a rough sketch…

Messy, uncertain, with all sorts of lines and squiggles laid down in the process of trying to figure out where you want to go, or what you need to do.

Perhaps you start drawing a few circles or curves with something beautiful in mind, and then it doesn’t turn out anything like what you wanted or expected.

It’s frustrating. Maddening even, and tempting to just rip the paper out of the sketchbook, wad it into a ball, and chuck it as far across the room as possible. Perhaps stop drawing entirely for a little while, because what’s the point of trying if every line drawn turns out to be a failure?

But then again, if there is no attempt, no lines drawn, no mistakes made, how can there ever be success?

These drawings are a few of the first since Babysaurus was born. There’s been one or two awkward sketches of other things here and there, but these are the first paleo critters.

There are lines all over the place, weird proportions (especially for cryolophosaurus lol), uncertain poses as I doodled to figure out what each critter wanted to do…At first it was frustrating and awkward. My hands felt stiff and uncertain, as if my growth as an artist had backtracked three years and I’d lost all the skills I’d learned in that time.

I took a breath. Put away the eraser, and told myself that it’s ok to just make scribbles on a page. Babysaurus was pretty good at reminding me that it’s ok to fail again and again, because no matter how frustrated he got or how many times he fell over, he still got up again on his hands and knees, staring at his fingers as if will alone would make them move forward.

In the end, the scribbles and faint, exploratory curves give a sense of freedom instead of frustration. The brain is allowed to play as the hand sketches circles and lines to hint at a head, a body, or legs…and it’s only later that certain lines are made stronger. Or more confident lines are drawn over the exploratory pioneers. It gives the small creature I’m doodling a liveliness and energy a final drawing wouldn’t have.

And life is the same way. Life is a blank page, and our hopes and dreams and actions we choose to do are all the exploratory lines of a sketch. Sometimes we set out to do something, and it turns out completely different than we expected. Sometimes it just feels like everything is a misplaced jumble of lines.

My sketchbook is full of jumbled lines lately. Even with all the advice and books available, even with experience with five other children, it’s amazing how utterly chaotic and humbling a baby can be.

The need to work with one hand while Babysaurus is in the other, multiple midnight feedings, and at times even desperation in attempts to soothe pains and fears and Babysaurus is still crying…those are the messy sketch lines. The ones that don’t seem to be working. Like with several of the Cryolophosaurus in the image above.

But if I take a breath. Take a moment to think about my hands in this slice of time, instead of an expectation of what I want to happen, or thinking about what I should be able to do based on the past. Then I can let it go and just draw, and then what appears on the page is magical, even if it is imperfect.

The smile that comes to my face and the warmth in my heart upon looking at one of these paleo critters, that internal squeal of joy of creating something that brings me joy…that is the same as the pure love and sense of peace and warmth that comes from seeing a smile on Babysaurus’ face. To see his delight in discovering something new. To see how excited and proud he is to have figured out how to crawl across the room, or pick up a small treat with his tiny thumb and forefinger.

His helmet is hot and heavy, and he has his first teeth cutting into his gums, but he still finds delight in the world and is always quick with a smile. Like the sketches, it’s being present in this moment that I can see his fleeting smile, or hear a squeal of delight when one of his brothers or sisters plays a game of peek-a-boo.

Like sketches, life can be rough and messy, but that mess can also be what brings it so much life. It brings a spark of something real, and free, and authentically personal that isn’t present in a final drawing, or on Instagram.

I hope you find joy in your rough sketches.

What’s Happening

The good news…it feels good to draw a few paleo critters!

Unfortunately, I still need more time to focus on Babysaurus. He needs more help than any of my other children did, so it’s taking longer to get back into the full swing of things here at the shop. Thank you so much for your patience. I promise I will be back here with more cute paleo pals as soon as I am able!

Which sketchy critter is your favorite? Are there any rough sketches in your life you would like to share? I’d love to hear from you in the comments! I always read them, even if I can’t answer right away.

See you December 1st for the next Update!